(no subject)

[sunnydalealum]

It's early January, and warm for this time of year in these latitudes.

Wells is inside the building, in one of the interminable Council meetings.

Spoon is outdoors, which is probably better for everyone.

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[sunnydalealum]

She remembers something he said to her once, about his sense of smell: I could pick out any one of you in a dark room filled with flowers.

His smell, to her own unaugmented sense, is pleasant. Clean sweat, and clean dog, and something like cinnamon.

"So do you think of people mostly by sight or scent?"

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

"Scent and voices." Spoon says instantly, "The sound of your voice, and the way you smell. It takes effort to remember that you've got green in your hair, or Ace has a square jaw, or da' has blue eyes."

[sunnydalealum]

Jordie twists a strand of her hair around her finger. "I've been thinking about changing the green, anyway."

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

"Don't ask me for suggestions." Spoon says, helplessly, "This is the second hairstyle I've had in me life. It was a buzz-cut until Dardania."

[sunnydalealum]

She giggles at that, muffling it with one hand.

"I think it looks good," she says, her eyes flickering down again. "With the beads, I mean."

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

"That's a bonus." Spoon says, rolling a bead between his fingers. It doesn't make the cheerful bzee! noise because he doesn't pop claws to do it. "Mostly it's just as close to yautja style braids as I can manage."

[sunnydalealum]

Jordie gives a small sigh, and stretches her shoulders.

"Time is it?"

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

"I have no idea." Spoon admits, "Last time I wandered past the Council meeting they were still talking."

[sunnydalealum]

"Not like we've got any classes today, anyway."

She's sober again.

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." Spoon says, "Fuck. Wish I could do sommat, Jordie. Half tempted to go drag me priest out here...he's good at listening to people."

[sunnydalealum]

"You did do something."

She leans a little forward and turns her head to look up at him.

"You came to find me."

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

There is a small part of Spoon that is wondering if this is what the goats feel like.

"Well, yeah." he says, slowly, "You're a really sensitive girl, lass. Didn't like to think of you trying to handle hurt alone."

[sunnydalealum]

Jordie ducks her head again, her hair falling forward.

"It's good to know you care," she says softly. "Even ..."

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

Spoon understands that right now he has got to step as carefully as if he were walking through a field full of kainde amedha eggs with a faulty mask. He's so having a beer later.

"I do care. You're a very sweet girl, and you're me favorite Slayer. That's not a secret. I really hope that we'll be friends for a long time." Spoon has never had to give the friends speech before. Here's hoping he's doing it well.

[sunnydalealum]

She swallows, and whispers "Me too."

And doesn't look up.

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

"I," Spoon says, "am no good at this kind of thing. Never was.

"Facts are, lass, that there are so many reasons I'd be bad for you that it's hard to know where to start. So I'll start with human things, and move on. I'm twenty years older than you, give or take. I'm completely insane...I really am, lass. I cannot function in cities, I get paralyzed at best by the number of things going on. I have flashbacks, and days when I can't quite remember when I am, or where, or who people are.

"Then getting weirder...I am a werewolf. Three nights a moon I shift shape and kill a goat, and eat it raw. It feels...better, to be like that, than to be human-formed. Stronger, faster, and more real. Strong smells can paralyze me. I struggle, every day, with the curse part of the curse. I have the hair I do because it gives me rules to what can be killed, and what can be eaten, and what cannot. Can't eat trophies, can't take trophies from food.

"I can't live without Sarge. I literally cannot; I will never be able to move off of the farm and out of the pack. I'm not an alpha wolf, I'm a beta. I need someone to lead me, or I get...really unbalanced." He means lose control of myself, become dysfunctional, and eat people. He's also struggling to figure out how to mention Ace, but he can't see a good way of doing it that won't be like jabbing knives into Jordie's chest. So he rubs at his nose, instead, and hisses a bit when he catches one of the stitches with his knuckle.

[sunnydalealum]

Her head's sinking lower and her face is burning again, but she's nodding.

"And I guess," she says, barely audible, "I guess some of those are also reasons why I'd be bad for you."

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

Spoon puts his arm around her in a hug, "To an extent, yeah. You girls only see me on good days, Jordie. It's safer that way, for all of us. I know my limits, and they don't include a lot. I'm very, very good within the boundaries of my life...but you've got a hell of a lot more options. Can you imagine standing there having to try to make the decision of killing me or risking infection? There is a gun with silver bullets at home, locked up so that Cora can't get to it of course. Mum knows where it is, though."

[sunnydalealum]

She's seen him on at least one Not Good At All day. She's seen his savagery. Even now she isn't sure why she's not afraid of it.

For the moment, she leans into the hug and closes her eyes.

"I would, you know," she mumbles.

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

"I know." Spoon says, "But what kind of a man would I be to put you in that situation?"

[sunnydalealum]

Her shoulders rise and fall in another sigh, and she doesn't answer him.

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

"Someday, luv, you will meet a nice male who will be good for you. And I will scare him to death before grudgingly giving him permission to spend his time with you." Spoon promises, kissing her hair rather like he does to Cora, "And until then we shall be great friends, talk on a regular basis, and I shall call you up if Cora needs a sitter."

[sunnydalealum]

"That'd be nice," she murmurs, half into his shirt.

Probably only someone with a werewolf's hearing would notice: her heartbeat has just speeded up.

[there-is-a-me.livejournal.com]

Shite. "Warn you, she's a handful. Got her a set of wristblades of her very own, and even though she's not allowed to pop them she likes to wear them regular. Getting her own warhorse, too. Very small horse, sort of yellow, but fully trained."

When in doubt, babble about your kid.

[sunnydalealum]

"Wristblades?"

Jordie straightens a little, no longer leaning on him.

"Like what you used on the first guard, when we were starting?"