sunnydalealum | (no subject)

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It's early January, and warm for this time of year in these latitudes.

Wells is inside the building, in one of the interminable Council meetings.

Spoon is outdoors, which is probably better for everyone.

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"I," Spoon says, "am no good at this kind of thing. Never was.

"Facts are, lass, that there are so many reasons I'd be bad for you that it's hard to know where to start. So I'll start with human things, and move on. I'm twenty years older than you, give or take. I'm completely insane...I really am, lass. I cannot function in cities, I get paralyzed at best by the number of things going on. I have flashbacks, and days when I can't quite remember when I am, or where, or who people are.

"Then getting weirder...I am a werewolf. Three nights a moon I shift shape and kill a goat, and eat it raw. It feels...better, to be like that, than to be human-formed. Stronger, faster, and more real. Strong smells can paralyze me. I struggle, every day, with the curse part of the curse. I have the hair I do because it gives me rules to what can be killed, and what can be eaten, and what cannot. Can't eat trophies, can't take trophies from food.

"I can't live without Sarge. I literally cannot; I will never be able to move off of the farm and out of the pack. I'm not an alpha wolf, I'm a beta. I need someone to lead me, or I get...really unbalanced." He means lose control of myself, become dysfunctional, and eat people. He's also struggling to figure out how to mention Ace, but he can't see a good way of doing it that won't be like jabbing knives into Jordie's chest. So he rubs at his nose, instead, and hisses a bit when he catches one of the stitches with his knuckle.

Her head's sinking lower and her face is burning again, but she's nodding.

"And I guess," she says, barely audible, "I guess some of those are also reasons why I'd be bad for you."

Spoon puts his arm around her in a hug, "To an extent, yeah. You girls only see me on good days, Jordie. It's safer that way, for all of us. I know my limits, and they don't include a lot. I'm very, very good within the boundaries of my life...but you've got a hell of a lot more options. Can you imagine standing there having to try to make the decision of killing me or risking infection? There is a gun with silver bullets at home, locked up so that Cora can't get to it of course. Mum knows where it is, though."

She's seen him on at least one Not Good At All day. She's seen his savagery. Even now she isn't sure why she's not afraid of it.

For the moment, she leans into the hug and closes her eyes.

"I would, you know," she mumbles.

"I know." Spoon says, "But what kind of a man would I be to put you in that situation?"

Her shoulders rise and fall in another sigh, and she doesn't answer him.

"Someday, luv, you will meet a nice male who will be good for you. And I will scare him to death before grudgingly giving him permission to spend his time with you." Spoon promises, kissing her hair rather like he does to Cora, "And until then we shall be great friends, talk on a regular basis, and I shall call you up if Cora needs a sitter."

"That'd be nice," she murmurs, half into his shirt.

Probably only someone with a werewolf's hearing would notice: her heartbeat has just speeded up.

Shite. "Warn you, she's a handful. Got her a set of wristblades of her very own, and even though she's not allowed to pop them she likes to wear them regular. Getting her own warhorse, too. Very small horse, sort of yellow, but fully trained."

When in doubt, babble about your kid.

"Wristblades?"

Jordie straightens a little, no longer leaning on him.

"Like what you used on the first guard, when we were starting?"

"Yeah." Spoon says, nodding enthusiastically, "Exactly like, although hers are dull. She is only six. Planning on making some for those of you girls interested in such things, if the Council lets me. Actually, planning on making anything I've got available if the Council lets me."

"They looked hard to handle," she says, with a speculative look in her eyes.

"They take some learning, that's for damn sure...measure your arm for me, and I'll bring you a set next time I come. Need the diameter of your arm near the elbow, half-way to the wrist, and at the wrist. Also length from elbow to wrist."

This is so much more comfortable.

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