Leland looks away, and his voice drops low in something that might be anger, or might be shame.
"He laughed. Said I'd better figure out a way. And if I couldn't figure out a way, maybe I just needed to boost my brain a little more. Or boost his, and he'd figure it out for me." His mouth twists. "Mark was always making cracks like that....
"You didn't know Mark. He's just a job to you guys. I knew him. He was ... he was driven, you know? Nothing ever came fast enough for him. Some guys, some of the guys I sell to, they only take the bare minimum to give themselves the edge. Take some right before the test and then don't come back until the first warning signs show up. But Mark always took the max dose I'd sell him, at the shortest intervals. He probably wouldn't've run out of money this soon if he'd been taking it easy, pacing himself, but ... that was Mark. He was always like that. Always had to have more."
Leland's eyes have gone distant. "So I guess I gave him what he really wanted, you know?"
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"He laughed. Said I'd better figure out a way. And if I couldn't figure out a way, maybe I just needed to boost my brain a little more. Or boost his, and he'd figure it out for me." His mouth twists. "Mark was always making cracks like that....
"You didn't know Mark. He's just a job to you guys. I knew him. He was ... he was driven, you know? Nothing ever came fast enough for him. Some guys, some of the guys I sell to, they only take the bare minimum to give themselves the edge. Take some right before the test and then don't come back until the first warning signs show up. But Mark always took the max dose I'd sell him, at the shortest intervals. He probably wouldn't've run out of money this soon if he'd been taking it easy, pacing himself, but ... that was Mark. He was always like that. Always had to have more."
Leland's eyes have gone distant. "So I guess I gave him what he really wanted, you know?"