(no subject)

[sunnydalealum]

Beth's fingers twist together between her knees. "This isn't working for me."

"I don't understand." Emma frowns delicately, her eyebrows drawing down in an expression of puzzled concern. "You've done an excellent job. We're very impressed."

"I just --" She feels young, young and stupid, and looking at Emma makes it worse, so she keeps her eyes on the floor. "I don't think I'm cut out for this career track."

A small sigh. "I hate to see you keep underestimating yourself, Beth. I gave you a very difficult job, your first time out, and you succeeded brilliantly. You kept your cool, you kept your cover, and you brought us the goods." She's smiling. It's audible. "I don't see how you can say you're not cut out for something you did so well."

Because it's making me sick. "I don't know," she mumbles, and then raises her voice with an effort. "I just ... I never asked to be a Slayer. A zhirel. And everyone wants me to do stuff because of, of this thing I didn't get any say in. And it's all ... monsters, and violence, and --" she waves her hands helplessly -- "huge epic stuff, and ... I just want to go back to my normal life."

There's a lengthy silence from the other side of the desk. Beth doesn't dare look up.

"Well," says Emma finally. "I won't say I'm not disappointed. But if that's how you really feel, Beth...."

Eyes still on the floor, she nods.

"Then I can't very well force you to stay." She sounds resigned, and a little sad. "But, look -- you've been under a lot of stress over the past months, and especially over the past day. You're tired, and probably jet-lagged. I want you to take another day to rest and think about it, and if you still feel that way this time tomorrow ... I'll have Scott write you a pink slip, and we'll wish you luck."

Beth looks up at that, in surprise and a sudden wary hope. "Okay," she says, and reaches down for her bag. "Thanks. And ... I'm sorry this didn't work out."

"So am I," says Emma quietly, as Beth gets to her feet.

She waits until Beth's hand is reaching for the door before she adds, "I just hope the Council's as willing to let you go."

Beth stops moving, and Emma begins to count silently down from five.

At two, Beth turns around. "What do you mean?"

Emma blinks at her, as though the answer should be obvious. "By their reckoning, you're a Slayer, which means you're entirely under their jurisdiction. Chances are good they'll be coming after you, and I don't know that they'll take to it if you tell them you don't want to do this anymore." Beat. "And that's even if you hadn't stolen something from them."

Beth's shaking her head, unconsciously.

"I can't make you stay, Beth, but I can't protect you if you're not here." Emma glances at her watch, and gets to her feet. "Listen, we've got a lot to do right now, thanks to your good work. If you want to just wait here in the office, sit this one out, that'll be fine. If you want to come down to watch, though...."

"I," Beth starts, and has to swallow. "I'll wait here."

A quick smile. "If you change your mind, we're in the big conference room on twelve." And Emma's out of the office, closing the door behind her.

Beth slowly puts down her bag, and sits in one of the comfortable armchairs she remembers from that first interview.

And waits.